self-control a dying art

Self-Control A Dying Art

Self-Control: restraint exercised over one’s own impulses, emotions, or desires. ~ Merriam-Webster Dictionary 


2 Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, in love and in endurance. 6 Similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled. ~ Titus 2: 2 & 6 NIV 



In a world where we’re constantly told to “do what makes you happy” and “follow your heart,” practicing the control of self seems contradictory. A foreign concept. Current events would lead one to consider self-control a dying art, for people are taking “follow your heart” to wicked extremes. Murder, physical abuse, theft, sexual abuse, human trafficking, oppression, mental abuse, and financial greed have become commonplace. Immorality is becoming the order of the day. Values that should be the norm, such as love, respect, kindness, and empathy, are now conditional, and have taken the backseat to carnal desires.


And men are at the forefront of all this confusion. We’re notorious for taking something not willfully given to us. And this isn’t limited to money, land, and resources. This also includes people. Men are the biggest perpetrators of sexual abuse, having left MILLIONS of victims in their wake. Some men will go so far as to rape and kill a woman for turning down his advances! Really? How weak-minded can you be? And the victims are not limited to women, for millions of children, and even other men, have experienced sexual assault. What makes men, and I use the word men loosely here, feel entitled to someone else’s body? To simply label these types of men as mentally ill feels like a disservice to the victims. There are so many variables at play. Egotistical, weak-minded, and insecure are clear descriptors. I left out “fragile” because that gives the illusion of the perpetrator being the victim. They’re too lazy to do the inner work to attract what they desire, so they attack when their shortcomings result in rejection. Then there’s the ones who do it as a display of power over someone else. It’s been this way since the beginning of time, but it doesn’t have to be.


And I know I can’t change the world with a blog article, but if I can reach one person and make him consider his actions before the crime is committed, then that’s one less victim to experience the dehumanization resulting from rape. That’s one less person to endure the selfish mentality of this world. And if I can reach someone with the power to influence the masses then even better! Every emotion is NOT to be acted upon. It’s okay to feel, but you can’t allow your emotions to control you. We must THINK before we act. THINK before we speak. CONSIDER the potential consequences. Think about who you’re about to hurt. If you insist on being selfish, then think about the fact you may be throwing your own life away when you face prison time. You may end up on the receiving end when your manhood is unwilfully taken. Someone you love may become victimized. Karma can be unforgiving & relentless, and trauma is no respecter of gender. Is it worth it? 


Let’s do better, fellas. In a dimming world full of toxicity, be a beacon of light who gives hope and encouragement. Make it your life’s purpose to add to the lives of others, and not be a source of pain, strife, & discontent. The act of practicing self-control will elevate you* by default, for in a society where discipline is quickly becoming a four-letter word, your high character will shine through.


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