hisposition i don't need you


“I don’t need love and affection. I don’t need peace and harmony. I don’t need you. And you surely don’t need me.”

~ Kenny Rogers (I Don’t Need You)*


This song is a great example of the inner conflict many people face when it comes to the prospect of love. Weary from past experiences, the thought of testing love’s waters again becomes overwhelming & confusing. Feeling the risk outweighs the reward, you resign to a life of perpetual bachelorhood. After being alone for an extended period, you get comfortable. The peace becomes addictive. So, when the opportunity to explore the possibility of love surfaces…you push it back under. You talk yourself out of it saying you don’t need it. You don’t need it, and it doesn’t need you.


“Love can sometimes be magic. But magic can sometimes…just be an illusion.” ~ Javan


It’s amazing how easy it is to fool yourself into thinking something is what it isn’t. Especially when you’re hungry for love. Desire makes you vulnerable. Craving love can lead you to project your feelings onto others. You want it…so they must want it, too. And this may be true, but they may not necessarily want it from you. Projecting your emotions onto others plays a major role in creating the illusion of love. It’s comparable to the folktale, “The Emperor’s New Clothes.” Everyone can see the love isn’t there except you. Leading you to walk around with your heart butt-naked & exposed to the wrong person.


“Anyone who isn’t confused really doesn’t understand the situation.” ~ Edward R. Murrow


Love in and of itself…is beautiful. People ruin love. With selfishness. With games. With manipulation. One can’t help but become confused when there are so many making a mockery of love. The ones who value attention over love use the desire of those who seek love to feed their egos. Manipulators love to prey on people with good hearts. It’s almost as if manipulators can smell them. Once the damage is done & they’ve drained the person for all they’re worth, they move on to the next victim. Sometimes they’ll return to drain the energy gained while in their absence. The number of people with personality disorders is astronomical, and it’s getting harder & harder to discern between the genuine and the fake.


“Your intellect may be confused, but your emotions will never lie to you.” ~ Roger Ebert


The heart doesn’t lie, but it can be misleading when misinformed. A deceived heart will lead you down a treacherous path. Your heart doesn’t do this intentionally, it’s just easy to fool when it’s hungry. It’s common for your intellect to see exactly what’s going on…only for your heart to refuse to accept it. It wants what it wants. Even if it’s junk food.


“We don’t need each other, baby. Or do we?” ~ Kenny Rogers


Despite the potential pitfalls, there’s still no greater feeling than true love. You may attempt to avoid it at all costs, but the desire still lingers. Many suppress it because the thought of trying again is terrifying. But given the right circumstances, they wouldn’t rule it out. God designed us to love…for He is love. Therefore, a part of us will always desire it…even if we push it away. This leads to games being played…pushing them away hoping they’ll stay. Hoping they’ll fight for you. Hoping their effort will ease your fears. Your intellect may tell you that you don’t need love. That you don’t need anyone. That you’re perfectly happy with being alone. But if you allow yourself to be vulnerable, you may hear your heart asking, “Are you sure?”



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