Love: How Do You Keep The Music Playing?
“Relationships don’t last because of the good times; they last because the hard times were handled with love and care.”
– Anmol Andore
How do you keep the music playing in love? An age-old question with numerous answers. The answers change with time, and each answer isn’t applicable to everyone because people prioritize different things. For some it’s loyalty. For some it’s friendship. For others it’s generosity. For this reason, recognizing someone’s love language only scratches the surface. There are multiple dialects to each language, and they’re extremely diverse. Understanding the heart of the object of your desire is imperative. Having a clear understanding will not only enable you to love them in a meaningful way, but it will also help you maneuver through the hard times with a sense of direction.
“If you want to create vital, long-lasting love, you must become a master of verbal & nonverbal appreciation.” ~ Gay Hendricks
There are countless ways to show your appreciation for someone. Your goal should be to learn what creates the best responses. Words possess much power, but your actions can speak volumes as well. A hug from behind. A kiss on the shoulder. A soft caress. A foot massage. A booty squeeze. No words are exchanged, but these simple acts convey numerous messages. You’re communicating that they’re valued. A simple butt squeeze is more powerful than you may realize. As basic as it may seem, you’re telling them they’re sexy, desired, and appreciated. Human touch can be more powerful than the spoken word. This tool should be used as often as possible if your goal is to maintain a long-lasting love.
“I don’t want a fiery love, a flickering flame; no, give me a love that lasts like the polar ice caps, a love that threatens to wreck the whole world, if it melts away.” – Jessica Katoff
The longer you’re together, the more comfortable you will become. But this isn’t an excuse to stop doing the things you did in the beginning to win each other’s hearts. Consistency is key if you want a smoldering love that will stand the test of time. Inconsistency creates instability, making it difficult for relationships to blossom. It’s unwise to build on a weak foundation. For this reason, you must ensure both of you are mentally & emotionally ready to love and be loved. You can treat someone better than they treat themselves, but if they’re hearts & minds aren’t in the right place your efforts will go unappreciated. No matter what you do for them, it will never be enough. And I can’t emphasize enough the importance of reciprocity in a relationship. You must feed into each other. A one-side relationship will lead to feelings of resentment in the one who’s always giving. If you’re not contributing to the relationship, it will make it extremely easy for the other person to walk away from you. You can’t miss what you’re not getting.
“If we can be the best of lovers…yet be the best of friends. If we can try with every day to make it better as it goes…with any luck, then I suppose…the music never ends.” ~ Patti Austin / James Ingram (How Do You Keep The Music Playing?)*
If your goal is to keep the music playing in your relationship, you must be committed. You must choose to love them during the moments when they’re not the most lovable, because there will be moments when you’re not all that lovable. These moments…these tests…can strengthen your love in the long run. The thought of knowing you have a love you can depend on during both the good & bad times creates an atmosphere where you both feel safe to be vulnerable with each other. This feeling of safety will play a major role in keeping the music playing for a lifetime. A love consisting of commitment, safety, vulnerability, and appreciation will create a musical composition to last through the ages.
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