“Take accountability… Blame is the water in which many dreams and relationships drown.” ~ Steve Maraboli
Are you living authentically, or have you created an artificial existence? An existence carefully curated to show the world who you desire to be versus who you really are. Perceived perfection. An existence where your wins are highlighted, and your losses are swept under the rug. And if you share a loss, it was someone else’s fault. Holding yourself accountable isn’t an option because it would mean you were wrong. You? Wrong? Never! Being wrong is the opposite of perfection. You’re often the primary source of toxicity in your relationships, but you refuse to see it because it goes against the narrative you created. Being toxic is the opposite of perfection. Own your flaws? Never! Perfect people don’t have flaws. You are excellence personified! And if anyone refuses to acknowledge your perceived greatness, you call them toxic. Or a hater. You’re the victim. Always.
“Ownership: A commitment of the head, heart, and hands to fix the problem and never again affix the blame.” ~ John G. Miller
Your problems can’t always be someone else’s fault. This pattern of behavior is unsustainable. You can’t fool everyone forever. Someone will notice, and your credibility will slowly diminish. Holding yourself accountable establishes trust with the people you interact with, both personally & professionally. If you spend more time making excuses than progress, it will lead others to question your ability. It’s extremely common for individuals who play the blame game to throw others under the bus to protect themselves & their image. Your relationships will deteriorate due to your unwillingness to accept responsibility for your mistakes.
“When it comes to privacy and accountability, people always demand the former for themselves and the latter for everyone else.”
~ David Brin
You must take ownership of your life and stop playing the victim. The first step in escaping this cycle is self-analysis. Be honest with yourself and leave your ego out of it. Your ego covers your wound. The wound is your insecurity. Insecurity masked as bravado is old as time itself. History is littered with insecure people who left a path of destruction in their wake. The expression “Napoleon Complex” was bred from a historical figure who used violence to overcompensate for his shortcomings. Demand more from yourself. Root out the source of your insecurity and begin the healing process.
“Wisdom stems from personal accountability. We all make mistakes; own them… learn from them. Don’t throw away the lesson by blaming others.” ~ Steve Maraboli
We’re human, and we’re going to make mistakes. The key is to learn from them. Sweeping them under the rug, or placing the blame on someone else, or outright denying your wrongdoing is counterproductive. If you’re in the wrong, acknowledge your mistake, apologize, and take the necessary steps to correct the situation. Foolish pride may help you win the battle, but you will lose the war in the long run. Your relationships will suffer if you refuse to own your part in the situation. A sincere apology holds so much healing power. It enables others to feel seen & heard, and it can help remove emotional barriers. The quality of your relationships could be so much better if you allow yourself to be vulnerable enough to admit being wrong. Broken relationships could be mended. Marriages could be saved. Families could begin to heal from past trauma. Don’t allow your pride to lead you to a life of loneliness. Pride can’t hug you, or hold you, or kiss you, or visit you in the hospital. Only love can do that.
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